New Addition To Our Family x2

This past little while our family has gown…. my nephew moved into our house while he prepares to go to NAIT in Edmonton. He is from here, but will be away from his mom and siblings for the first time. Its pretty weird having a teenager… its like they don’t exist and then when food is offered, they show up. Eat. then POOF. Gone….but he’s here… Its reminds me of what it must have been like for my parents when I was a teenager. LOL

 

A couple weeks ago I saw an ad on my friends Instagram (if you’re on, follow me @iamcandiceryan) that there was a dance class called The Codettes and for 12 weeks it was $50. I was stoked to see the price and signed up immediately. The owner of Dance Code Studio, Sarah, emailed me back right away and asked my background in dance and asked if I wanted to try the Pumps class the next day, its been forever since I’ve worked out that hard and I haven’t danced like this in a long, long time. I was…am… hooked.

I’ve been doing this now for 2 weeks and have been doing the Boom Classes in-between too. So awesome working out and not feeling like I’m working out. The next day that I had my first class, Sarah asked if i would be interested in sending in my story to see if i get selected for this program that they are paring with. This local guy who has a  company that pre-packages meals that are super healthy and do this for either 4 weeks, 8 weeks or 12 weeks. You get breakfast, lunch AND supper prepared and shipped to your house…. and are looking for someone to represent, share their journey through Facebook, twitter and other social media to help promote everything…. So then….I sent my story.

I got a call to come in for an interview with Anthony from Light Weight Foods and Sarah to about my life and why a program, like this, would be perfect for my life my goals, talked about how important it is to get healthy for my daughter and family. So I can get back into shape and be proud to look in the mirror again. They just let me know recently that I’ve been selected for the 3 month!!!! I’ll have more details soon….

http://www.dancecodestudio.ca

https://www.lightweightfoods.com

 

 

Today we got to go trade in my car for a brand new 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan Crew!!

With Maggie in tow, we went to Derrick Dodge and had a great time with the staff. They where incredibly helpful and went above and beyond to make sure this was perfect and even though Maggie was super tired and cried during the last half of our time there. It was great. Couldn’t be happier with the newest addition to our family!

 

My mom had a van when we were younger. Lot of great memories in the van. Hope that we get as much fun out of this fan as I had when I was young. Maggies spoiled… She has quite a fantastic vehicle to grow up in and another babies that show up in our lives…..

 

www.derrickdodge.com

Tell them Candice & Maggie sent you!

 

 

Hope you’re having a great weekend!

 

Candice xoxo

 

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Back to Reality.

Back to work after the most amazing year off! Why does time have to go by so fast when you want to enjoy every moment with your new baby! Maggie is now 10 months old and walking around (Assisted) but is trying her hardest to take more than a couple steps on her own. She kinda looks like a baby Godzilla when she tries.

Did I mention she is the cutest baby EVER!!!! Check out my Instagram @iamcandiceryan to see pictures of her 🙂

This weekend I’ll be getting baptized at my church and I couldn’t be more excited! I’ll post a blog about it and my story after, Its been quite the year of finding myself and why I’ve been put on this earth. My year off was defiantly a lot of soul searching and through that I welcomed Jesus back into my life. Its really helped with my anxiety and depression, Its still there, but I’ve been getting help and being around amazing people who are supportive and understand. If you know any new moms let them know that PPD is real and there is ALWAYS help. If you want to chat on a more personal level, I would love to hear from you!

Good news on the home front! I’ll be back with the Oil Kings for my 5th season of singing the anthems, and we get to be in the new Rogers Place building!! YAY!! Got my new jerseys. I finally get a sweet 3rd jersey!! I can’t wait to check out our new home! Is it September yet??!?!?!!

Speaking of new homes, we moved last November to a bigger place to accomidate our growing family and our two dogs, Lenny the Bullmastiff and Sadie the Blacklab. Also check out Instagram for pictures of the dogs too! So glad to be in a great area in Edmonton!

 

Candice

 

My life and the truth of it.

I feel like I owe an apology for not keeping with with my website and blog. After I had Maggie my world changed. As any new parent knows its hard to get back into everything you were doing before. I sit here watching my 6 month old sit up on her own and chatting back to the My Little Ponies, I still can’t believe she exists in my world. The world I had before I had her was busy and constant, playing shows, going out and hanging with friends, not worrying about anything.

Once everything stopped and I was home with her is when I really felt a change in me. My anxiety of the world came in full force, it was hard to hand Maggie to certain people. Or even be around a lot of people. I’ve always had anxiety, but now its worse. And the depression about gaining the weight I did with my pregnancy didn’t help either. All the hard work I had done to lose 100 pounds went out the window. Now, my self image and confidence has disappeared. Every time I go out in public I feel like I am being judged about my weight.

I wish I could see myself through my daughters eyes. For anyone who has seen her, she looks into your soul. She doesn’t understand how people feel on the inside. She just sees you, your eyes. She loves unconditionally. Everything about her makes me want to be the best person for her. I love everything she does. Having a baby changes everything. It truly does.

Now for the honesty, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression. I tried going to a PPD group, but there where too many people and my anxiety was in high gear. Joining new mommy groups didn’t help either, too many people in a house with crying babies, I had to leave and cried my way home and for hours after. I have gone into hiding. And it has been very hard to get on stage or the ice. I wanted to cancel all further anthems with the oil kings and stop performing. But I didn’t. I had to get help and carry on with my passion. As they say, the show must go on….

Why am I telling you this?

Post partum depression and anxiety are extremely common, mental health is extremely important. But it wasn’t until the people who were around me most to see the change. They asked me to go a doctor and get help. There are so many people out in this world who don’t seek help or have loved ones who look out for them. Just because people have a smile, doesn’t mean they are happy. I think the hardest part for me was realizing that I am the happy one… why don’t I feel happy anymore? The pain was real.

My whole world has changed. And each day I take my little pill and hope it gets better.

 

 

 

Surprise! It’s Cancer! And the Light at the End of the Tunnel (Blog)

About a month ago I was at my friends place for a party on a Friday night and close minded to life outside her walls. Since I was 6 months pregnant I was enjoying glasses of orange juice and filling my face with cheesecake and other treats. I left her house around 9:30 and made my way home and as usual I call the boyfriend on my way home, on my Bluetooth of course, and I could tell his mind was somewhere else. He asked what we were doing Saturday and I was pretty sure he knew we had no plans, but he told me that I had to stay at home because someone was coming over. I asked who and he said he couldn’t say anything else, just that I had to be home. I hate secrets, like with a passion, I freaking hate them! He just said, he couldn’t say anything else and just to come home. I was pissed because I knew he was holding something from me and it drove me crazy.

The next morning he kept me busy by cleaning the house and kept my mind of “The Mysterious Visitor”. I got a phone call from my mom and she said she was at Tim Horton’s and wanted to know what I wanted to drink and if I wanted a snack, did she forget I was pregnant? Of course I wanted a snack, so she brought us two jalapeno bagels with herb and garlic cream cheese and two green teas. Is my mom my “Mysterious Visitor”? I just kept thinking wtf is going on and why is every one being all weird!! ITS DRIVING ME FUCKING NUTS!!! (sorry for the language)

So she comes in and makes strange small talk about my night and I could hear in her voice that something was wrong but I didn’t want to jump right into “the surprise news” I could tell it wasn’t good.

She cleared her throat and got down to business, I knew my sister had a doctors appointment on Friday from something they found in her mouth and sent it away for a biopsy…but the next thing she said just seemed to ring on forever.

“Your sister has cancer”.

The air stopped moving, my body froze and I honestly don’t remember the words that were spoken and she was there for a while talking to us. Just thoughts running through my head. Why my sister? Is she gonna die? What about her kids? What do we do? How do I breath again? Why us? If she dies, I won’t have a sister?…I wouldn’t have a sister? Who will I call when I need advice? This is impossible. It can’t be true. But the tears in my moms eyes were real, this shit was real. It took a while for it to sink in and then I just cried. Life just got really freakin real.

Through the last month she has gone for test after test after test and we found out that it is ONLY in one spot in her mouth and can be removed, a 16 hour surgery, removing part of upper jaw and reconstructing it with part of her shin bone. 2 weeks in recovery at the hospital and 4 weeks recovery at home and some radiation to make sure that cancer stays away! Thanks to the amazing people at the UofA, Cross Cancer and Royal Alex, my sister is going to be healthy and cancer free.

A little less than 4 weeks till her surgery and the one thing that makes me get through is knowing how positive and strong my sister has been through all of this. Her wish, to laugh without it hurting, and to be able to wear her “Barbie” heels.

It’s been pretty crazy the last little while getting into my last trimester of pregnancy, getting the house ready for the arrival of our daughter and going through this family bonding experience they call cancer. But I have never been more grateful to have the loving family and support that I have. I know she worries about how I am dealing with everything but she’s my sister, I’m dealing as best as I can. I love her more than anything and I just can’t wait for life to get back to normal.

Keep my sister in your thoughts and prayers in the next coming weeks as she goes through surgery. Thank you!

Candice ♥

Dear Lady at the VLT Machine (and the lesson I learned)

This weekend we played our second show at Rednex in Morinville, Alberta.

We made out little poster and had it around the bar, and shared the event on Facebook and with the people who said they would be there and the ones who said they would try to come, we didn’t have a crazy turn out… but we had some people there.

From the time we started people were trickling in and having a beer, meeting their friends or trying their luck on the VLT machine. My family and friends filled 4 tables and they watched and visited, so that was pretty cool!

With our first set under our belt the couple sitting at the VLT came by the tell us we were doing an amazing job they loved my voice and with smiles they went back to their seats to gamble. I love visiting with everyone and chatting while we take our little breaks. It didn’t dawn on me till the crowds started to leave before we went into our 3rd and final set that the one lady who was sitting with her husband, who was playing the VLTs, that she was sitting there watching us the entire time with her chair in between 2 machines.

After there was about 10 or so people in the bar, and the one lady watching, I was kinda sad that people needed to get home and that being out of town for a show was not easy for everyone coming out… but that one lady was watching. She clapped after every song. They stayed till the bar closed down and we were all done and packed up.

What did I learn?

Whether you are playing for 10 people, 50 people, 100000 people or just one lady sitting in the corner waiting for her husband to get off the VLT machine. They need to be entertained, they are the ones who will remember…  I hope when she goes home and tell’s whomever that the people on stage gave it their all till the very end.

Don’t ever be discouraged when no big crowds show up or stay till the very end. There is ALWAYS someone watching.

Till next time!

Candice ♥

♥My Big News ♥ (Blog Jan 15/15)

By now, if you don’t know already, a couple weeks ago my boyfriend and I shared the cutest picture of our dogs holding baby Oilers booties and the picture of our first ultrasound with our lumpy looking baby…

November 1st we found out that we are expecting our first child (Due July). If you know me or you ran into me within that time, you probably found out before we put it on the Facebook and Twitter! Right now we are 15 weeks (on the 15th in 2015), I’m terrible at keeping awesome news to myself. I am one of the lucky few woman in the world that didn’t go through morning sickness and crap that makes me feel terrible, although there was the smell of bacon that bugged me for a couple weeks, thank God that’s done! This has been an completely happy pregnancy so far (other than the bacon thing) I’ll consider myself pretty lucky! Not only that, I have 2 friends and 1 cousin who are all expecting within a couple months of each other.

imageThe guys in the band are not new to a lead singer getting knocked up, so this wasn’t a surprise LOL. We’re gonna keep going until it is too hard for me to breath and move on stage. We do have some gigs booked in April…but we will see how it goes after that.

This is going to give me a whole new perspective on were I want to take my music with my grande return. It gives me a lot of time to make sure that the songs that go on my next EP are perfect and to how I want the world to see me. I can’t wait to share more of my experiences… I really should blog more LOL. (I always say that)

Talk to you soon!!

Candice ♥♪

My Life Going Into 2015 (The Year End Blog)

Ups and downs are a part of everyone’s lives. It kicks you when your down and makes you think you can’t get up, but when you do there is nothing that can bring you down!

That is how my year went. The year ended and started with me separating from my ex during the recording of my last single California Sunrise and me moving in with my mom and step dad. If it wasn’t for my friends believing in me, I don’t know how I would have gone on. It was tough but it was meant to be that way. I wanted to live again, work hard on my music and make more friends along the way. Being brought into the Kind Every Time Family and writing an amazing song for the program. Writing with some of the top writers and performing with my band. Singing for 5 Edmonton Oilers home games. Be a part of a ceremony welcoming 12 Brand New Canadians. Meeting my best friend and soul mate. Finding out a lady has all our posters on her fridge from when we played at the bar she works at. Its hard to believe 2014 is gone…..

But, the biggest joy of all came the morning of November 1st. Not only did I have my last Oilers anthem to sing at, and I had to go for a dress fitting at a designers store on Whyte Ave… My boyfriend and I found out we will be expecting our first child. No greater feeling on the planet knowing that we are creating life….

Since then my life and everything I do has been re-evaluated.

There is nothing that will stop me from achieving my goals. I haven’t been more excited for anything in my life. Knowing that there is a little being growing inside me. I’ve been pretty lucky with my pregnancy so far. We now just get to look at it from a different side, I want my child to grow up in a very loving, musical home. This time next year we will be bringing in the year with our baby! Can’t even believe it.

I wish you and your families nothing but the best in health and happiness, not just in 2015, but, forever

Love always,

Candice Ryan ♥ ♪